I Speak, U Speak, Newspeak!

The World According to George

(Bush, not Orwell)

As Dubyah tries to "disassemble" democracy as we know it by dissembling. The Republican scriptwriter has to be Lewis Carroll. It's hard to imagine that just five years ago we became unglued over what the definition of "is" is and now we can accept that "up" is "down" and "black" is "white." Try it.

• More car bombings and insurgent attacks in Iraq are "good" because they show the terrorists are desperate and on the run.
• Newsweek is responsible for jihad against the United States
• Iraq has WMD's. Er, Iraq attacked us on 9/11. Uh, we wanted to bring freedom and democracy to the Iraqi people. They bought 'yellow cake."
• We have trained 150,000 Iraqi soldiers, would you believe 100,000? 50,000? 5,000?
• Social Security is in a "crisis." It will be bankrupt by 2017.
• An embryo is a potential life. (An apple seed is a potential apple tree too, but something else needs to happen.) It's fine to flush them, just don't use them for research.
• Abu Ghraib was thought up by a few dimwits from West Virginia.
• Drilling in ANWR will solve our dependence on foreign oil.
• "I fulfilled my military obligation."
• Global Warming is a "hoax." Just believe my former oil lobbying editor.
• "I did not have sex with that woman." Oops, wrong President.
• "I can't think of any mistakes."

So, maybe all of these aren't direct quotes from Dubyah, it's hard to pin his quotes down sometimes because of the misspeak. You have to listen hard to determine the difference between "tur-ist" and "ter-ror-ist" and "nu-clar" and "new-klee-er"

According to George, everything is fine. We are winning the "War on Terror" but don't know who is crossing our borders or what is coming into our ports. Private accounts will fix Social Security but doesn't address the solvency issue. Medicare modernization is a fix for Big Pharma. The list goes on and on. But, Hey, I'm sure George knows what the definition of "is" is.